We all have aspirations of love, not being lonely, raising a family and living comfortably. I know only too well about losing what you have as I only see my children on Wednesday's and weekends. I write tonight with a heavy heart, lately my relationship has been going through a rocky patch and today the curtain finally came down. I would be lying if I said that I wasn't upset and there are a lot of factors involved that will all be affected. The children, the pair of us and the future now not looking so bright as it had done previously!
Disagreement's over numerous issues, money, parenting and arguments which eventually have led to us going our separate ways. Is it a decision I like, not really but it is the right decision as we are divided on a lot of matters and the arguments aren't fair on us or the children. They are the most important aspect here, it's not fair them being involved. Our different views on parenting have often been a point of debate, we both have children from previous relationships so there is always another variable involved in the form of the biological parent. She took on a lot with me having two children but managed well considering the age gap between us and the interaction I have with the children's mother over their school and upbringing. I know I wasn't as accepting here as I don't approve of what I perceived to be trying to buy Baby's affection.
This leads me to the title as children always want to grow up and be just like their parents and I am not doing too well at the moment. I have always tried to be fair with how I treated each of the children, referring to all three of them as my own when talking to anyone. I have experienced so much of Baby's life, all of the landmark occasions. Even her first word was Dad, why? Because when my children are around it's all they say, it's what she knows me as. Lately she has been a challenge but that's expected when a child reaches Baby 2.0, the development phase, the terrible two's! That has been an emotional strain lately because a lot of patience is required but also a level head as well because we needed to act in the best needs of Baby for instance when she is tired. It's going to be strange not being asked for a bottle first thing in the morning that's for sure!
It may come across like I am trying to talk myself out of this conclusion but this has been reached due to a multitude of reasons. We both have insecurities, who doesn't though as this is the 21st Century, we're the middle children of history. There is the well documented credit crunch, I worry about making ends meet all the time. We both have our own identities, interests, social circles, likes and dislikes. I got into the relationship as to me she was important, I never wanted to change her only to make her happy. That is why I am truly sorry that we now find ourselves in this situation...
