“Harry'll do it. I know it. He doesn't know how to fail.”
I wasn't looking for anything but then I found myself and lost something that I couldn't replace. I was holding onto three years but all I found was cigarettes and alcohol. Human sympathy has its limits, and we weren't content to let arguments fade with the city lights behind. It's true that store fronts rarely change and it's time to learn how to manage on my own again. Thirty — the promise of a decade of loneliness, but I wasn't alone and we're still going down in an earlier round!
Last weekend provided plenty of drama, entertainment and distraction. I had intended to attend an event in London but work related matters took priority. I arrived in Leeds Friday afternoon, preparations were in the advanced stages for an event in Headingley and everyone was getting ready! There was so much enthusiasm, but unfortunately when we arrived security confronted one of my friends and created a situation. I didn't know what was occurring because it happened so suddenly but it was soon resolved. The event was hosted by Loco, combining music with installations and live art. The venue was impressive and the event was well organised throughout the night. I spent that morning at a friends house and in the afternoon I was abducted by pirates. By the time I left the 'boat' it was dark outside again, but I was ready for the night ahead.
I had expected more people to be involved that evening as Nest were celebrating their fourth birthday. Those that were in attendance witnessed one of the founders of Nest being escorted from the premises. Security again overreacting and creating an unnecessary situation. Afterwards I travelled to another venue and then headed to an after party with some friends. It escalated quickly at the house! What started as pitching pounds, descended into carnage as several guitars were broken over the head of the founder who had earlier been dismissed from the club. He'll break any guitar in' world! I was then introduced to a modified version of Turkish wrestling. I didn't participate, those that did looked like they had been hit with a chair! The highlight of the afternoon was when one of the guests became acquainted with a rubber toy. My face hurt from laughing so much! Also at the party was Yorkshire music mogul, Dave Beer, promoter of the UK's longest running club night Back to Basics and recently crowned undisputed champion of pitching pounds. It's the first time I've spent any time with the unofficial mayor of Leeds and I hope I'm still going strong at his age. When I returned home that evening, I realised I had managed to distance from recent problems and enjoyed the weekend. That's something I need to do more, anyone for pitching pounds?
“I'm the king of the world!”
I've been polishing the brass on the Titanic. It's all going down, man. Those close enough to the iceberg will understand my frustration. Only know you've been high when you're feeling low. Only hate the road when you're missing home. Only know you love her when you let her go, and in the Titanic (1997) he let her go. The film portrays the struggle Jack Dawson, a penniless artist, and Rose DeWitt Bukater have to fight to be together. After braving several obstacles, he dies of hypothermia and she is saved. The closest I have been to developing hypothermia is receiving the cold shoulder; the symptoms aren't related. The film is directed, written, co-produced, co-edited and partly financed by James Cameron. Unfortunately Jack Dawson never did exist. Instead Mr Joseph Dawson, 23, from Dublin, Ireland came to Southampton to look for work. He joined the Titanic as a Trimmer and perished in the sinking. His tale, and the stories of many others taken tragically at an early age, remain untouched by a brush with recent fame.
During the 19th century, the Steel City might have had something to say about the construction of the passenger liner. Having gained an international reputation for steel production. Many innovations were developed locally, leading to an increase in the population during the Industrial Revolution. The rapid construction of passenger interchanges has been the subject of recent developments. For example, new rail stations, bus, tram and light rail systems. The population increased momentarily this weekend. While she starts to cry, mascara running down her little Bambi eyes: "Lana, how I hate these lies." The signals don't seem right, I don't understand why they last for just one night? I believe this 'non-disclosure agreement' causes more harm than good. The future is history!
“Been on another level, since you came...”
He waits; that's what he does. But sometimes that isn't enough. I have recently finished reading The Great Gatsby, and in the book there's a phrase stating that 'there are only the pursued, the pursuing, the busy and the tired.' I'm tired. I'm tired of pursuing. I'm tired of the lies and I'm tired of waiting for opportunities because recently it's felt like I'm in 50 First Dates (2000). The mistake I made was to believe there was a chance. Don't blame it on me because you wanted to have fun. Who can you trust? Ladies and gentlemen, this is me expressing my loneliness. Kiss me hard before you go, because it might be the last time. The lies have created a fabricated reality, providing the blissful ignorance of illusion. Take the blue pill and the story ends, you wake up in his bed and believe whatever you want to believe!
Summer had come and passed, the innocent can never last. I attended a festival in September and afterwards we became close friends. I spoke to her frequently and one night in October we ended up together. I had started the final year at university, pressure was overwhelming, relationship was lying on the cold hard ground and the ascent from depth should have led to the bends. I thought my partner was overreacting. By the time her mother intervened the tension had reached a crescendo. I should have listened, because when she reached out it was already too late. There was no subject, but I will never forget the words. I decided to tell her everything when she returned to Leeds. Honesty is supposed to be a virtue but no one wants to hear the truth. She was nervous and I could feel how vulnerable she was when we embraced. I broke her heart that night. Rather she hear what happened in my words, than someone who might not be as intimately involved. I wouldn't have been able to pursue the relationship. The guilt would have been unbearable and I would have placed our mutual friends in a position.
It's unfortunate that I have become the other person. It's three in the morning and I'm trying to change your mind. Drunk in love? It seems you only want to know when you're high! I'm disappointed but it's provided a valuable insight. I now understand what it feels like to be on the outside looking in on the situation. Running through the streets; buying oregano; or writing about the experience. There's always someone with a reason...
